Once upon a time there were three little pigs...

** If you are reading this in bloglines or whatever, you may want to click through to the actual post to see text formatting so you don't get confused ** Also, no knitting content.

Once upon a time there were three little pigs...

no, that won't work..

Hello Slothen Pigs.. no..

Dearest Family,

Upon awakening you found that the house was absolutely spotless as clean as it can get with all your piles of stuff here and there (fine I have one pile as well, note it is stuff yet to be unpacked, not stuff just tossed in a heap- I'm allowed as long as yours outnumber mine). Please note that little elves or brownies did not visit the house while we all peacefully slumbered. Also, the maid I am always wishing would come did not finally make her first appearance. Someone was up until after midnight even though they had to get up at 4:45am. I do thank fits being pitched you for your inspiration in order to encourage my speedy cleaning - had I not been fueled with such anger passion, I would have been up all night.

From this point forward the table and counter in the kitchen are a NO PARKING ZONE. Any items parked on the counter or table in excess of 4 hours or after 9pm, whichever comes first, WILL BE TOWED at the owners expence.

No Littering Laws will strictly be enforced. Anyone who casually discards wrappers, juice boxes, used napkins, opened envelopes, etc. will be fined and put on work detail.

All items used must be returned to their proper place. Violators will be prosecuted.

I expect that you know your way around the house by now, so a trail of crumbs is not necessary. If you find you are having trouble remembering where you were please let me know so we can have your head examined.

If you fail to see the messes you leave, rest assured, I will be happy to point them out loud enough for you to hear in case your hearing is also ailing. A visit to the optomitrist or Ear Nose and Throat Dr. can also be arranged should you feel it is necessary.

By the end of the day a complete task list will be posted for each family member. Negotiations will be available for those in command, however the rookies will do as they are told. Violations will be dealt with on a case by case basis, and rewards may be given for a job well done without me shouting at you to do it.

Thank you for your attention to this matter and your cooperation. Now if you don't mind, I will get back to my busy life and maybe ya'll will let me watch an hour of TV tomorrow night by following the previous rules.